Crying in the chapel

In a bit of an eighties mood today, but this song title fits my afternoon. I was listening to aparigraha - which is the yogic teaching on non greed and detachment. In a moment of inspiration, or desperation - maybe a bit of both, I reached for this cd. This afternoon was a real lesson in detachment for me, hence the tears that the title refers to.
A relationship is two sided and in giving of yourself, a risk is taken. I was holding, or more aptly, clinging onto a friendship with an old flame. Elizabeth Gilbert, of 'Eat, Pray,Love' fame  refers to one of her relationships as an 'emotional scratching post'. For me, that's what this was for me in many ways. I wanted to have my woes soothed by another, but all the while knowing there was something not right.
So when the old flame realised the error of his ways, the jig was well and truly up.
Detachment means not clinging or grasping. I was clinging to old memories, wanting what I saw as the good parts only and thus being the commander of the ship. Life, however, had other plans for me.
Delving within, I realised that inner strength is not an easy path. It is at times treacherous, in the forms of rejection and self doubt.  However, after the tears, does come relief. In nature, a rainy day often ends with a beautiful rainbow.
So, taking one step at a time, all the while reminding myself to breathe through life, rainbows do indeed appear. I wish my old flame well, thank him for the lessons. I hold the memories in my heart, whilst setting both himself and me free.