Some like it hot...conservation and crisis

Firstly, the Yankees cop a lot of unfair flack. It’s not just because I am going over there that leads me to say this. They actually have a lot of passion, open heartedness and courage. The reason I say this is because many a great artist has hailed from this merry land. And, unbeknownst to me, it is home to some very beautiful unspoilt natural places.  I pride myself on caring for the environment. I’m someone who has gone from acting in a radical manner to someone who at the moment isn’t as active as they would like to be.  And it was this radical side of me that was re awakened on Wednesday night this week. I saw a documentary where the scenes of degradation towards nature actually felt like someone was hurting me personally.

Ok, emotionality does come easy to me.  I like to put it down to my Italian ancestry.  And the cliché of emotional and impulsive woman can at times be one that I act up to.  But fire in the belly does get one off the couch and taking a step in the direction of change.  Surprisingly that change came from going to a winery and seeing a doco on coal seam gas mining.  Surprising because I didn’t realise quite the effect that this would have on me. Yes it’s emotional and for that reason, possibly a bit skewed. ‘Very American’ was also a warning that I got, but one that doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense. I think because it unnerves me from a stereotypical point of view. How is ‘too American’ any different from ‘too Australian’?

It doesn’t really matter what package you come in. We do however have use by dates; at a certain point in time, we will indeed leave.  The trees that sorround us, the water that feeds us...I’d like to think that those things are here to stay.

In my uni years I used to wear a t shirt that depicted the end of the world, with a sentiment along the lines of realising too late that money is not something we can eat.  Radical I was. Rationality nada.

We do indeed live in a material world and for this reason we need to consume our natural resources in order to survive. I’d just like to think that we can be aware that nature provides us with more than just a pretty view.

A lot of companies are becoming more socially aware, which I was reminded of by an environmental science friend of mine. And this is what I want to encourage. For people to question, rather than being resigned to a state of blind acceptance.  When I first saw ‘Gasland’ all I wanted to do was cry. I felt so overwhelmed by disappointment at ignorant leaders. But thankfully there are two sides to every story.   And there is a great deal of good happening.  But just remember to speak up for those that no longer can...whoever or whatever they are.

Fairy Dust

Hopes and dreams are nothing if not precious.  I gave myself permission to dream today by taking myself on my own long Sunday restorative yoga practice. And it was the hardest thing…I was prepping myself for my evening class and just as well I did as there was surprisingly a lot of noise in my head.  All the things I wanted to do with my life started to line up and form a queue around me.

Sunday was traditionally a day of rest. I’m reading a book by Judith Laseter about the importance of ‘being’ time.  Which is what I found challenging about the restorative sequence. It sort of comes down to truth. As a teacher of both yoga and creative arts, to cut corners is to cut your experience really. So as I lay on the bolsters and blankets, something started to happen, stillness. It’s funny how slowing down actually allows you to get more done in the long run. School prep check, exercise...etc.  As for the small stuff, nowhere nearly as sweaty.  

I’m often telling my students to breathe into the present moment as this is the most controversial thing we can do. That sentiment often sits hand in hand with ‘the universe is unfolding as it should’. And it’s actually wow to really let that thought wash over you as you let your body breathe over different props. Because the present is our fairy dust.

My weekend papers are often sitting on the kitchen bench, still unread, come the following weekend. But today I actually read them cover to cover. Noticing books I wanted to read, dance shows I wanted to see and exhibitions worth visiting. Ah, so I’m saving at the moment. My book shelf is already overflowing, my local area has awesome exhibitions and as for dance, well I’ll always have salsa. So the fairy dust that we receive in the present is bliss. Bliss that comes from the knowledge that we already have all that we want.

I felt I have gone on a bit of a tangent, but writing, like any creative art, is a flowing rather than a fixed thing. However, through line...fairy dust.  It exists in many forms.  So be still and make sure you let it surround you.

To close I’ll leave you with the words of India Arie: ‘let’s just sit and watch nature put on a show’.

Never did me any harm…awareness of ahimsa

The easiest way to take off a band aid is to rip it to within an inch of its life, leaving a red mark behind. Delaying it only prolongs the pain. I choose this analogy to talk about ahimsa – the yogic yama of non - violence.  A yama being an abstentation, or a refraining. In this case, refraining from violence to oneself or others.  This was the yama that began my term of yoga yesterday – my Friday morning class where I can and do relish being a student.  And as always, the teacher appears when the student is ready.  That night I went to a fab comedy night with one of my even fabber friends. Fast forward to conclusion of evening…Walking back to my car, hit the on switch for my phone and am rudely greeted by an abusive text.  And for the first time I didn’t even open it. I knew the sender by the number. To open this text would have been an act of violence towards both myself and inadvertently the sender. I’ve learnt by experience that to hit ‘ return to sender’ only draws one further down the rabbit hole of victimhood.

Being cruel to be kind comes to mind when reflecting on this yama.  Non violence may at times feel the opposite.  Catholic upbringing and an all girls school = being nice means being amenable to all.  As I walked through my life I tended to be walked over, choosing the role of doormat over doer. And when I tried on the pants of assertiveness, they definitely took a bit of getting used to. People are fighting so many battles and when we receive abuse from other in whatever form; it is really about them. To take it personally…well go watch ‘Catfish’ to see how well that experiment actually turns out. To paraphrase, there is no happy ending here.  Imagine a void of your former self and you have the picture.  

And with ahimsa comes its counterpart, fear. Acting non violently takes more courage than cowardice. . It harks back to the comfy couch of comfort zones. It does take two to tango. And for a while my carpet became quite high from the truths I kept sweeping under there; avoiding the biggest truth of all – I was sabotaging my self.

I took the title for this blog from the title one of my favourite choreographer’s dances. The divine Kate Champion, whose work never fails to make me cry, is a risk taker. Building a carpet around us to fool us into believing we have the life we want only serves to take us further away from it.  Saying no to all that isn’t good for you truly allows us to choreograph the most amazing dance ever. Because it is full of surprises and opportunities, rather than disillusionment and despair.

So as I hit delete on my phone and drove myself home, there was definitely fear swirling around…but there was also that sense of freedom that comes from being a warrior. So there were tears before bedtime. Tears of relief, grief and hope. Grief from the hole that is left behind when someone leaves our life. Relief for the self whose reigns I have taken hold of again. And hope that my strength of self and letting go will in turn set others free.

Do not disturb...knowing your boundaries

First day back at the coalface today, so to speak.  And honestly speaking, as inspiring as my words felt yesterday; walking your talk is another thing entirely.  ‘Have a little faith’ were the words that kept coming back to me. As I chatted to my barista this morning, we shared our sentiments of Mondayitis and its trappings.  Call it divine timing, my latest Paulo Coelho book is also on this very subject.  For the protagonist, her passion infiltrated into the workplace and voila...productivity on the increase.

Passion at times takes leave in my case, once paranoia sets in.  At times I revert to a little girl, wanting to hide back under my doona and feel safe.  The responsibility of a ‘career’ feels all too much and I want an easier path. As soon as I write these words I am reminded that ‘an easy life is not a victorious one’.  And the author of these words I know well, Yogananda.  My mum would often say to use to ‘use my brain’ and ‘not waste my talent’. Which I guess is why we take steps in the direction of that double edged sword that offers us both excitement and challenges. I’m so excited to teach Drama and Photography, as they are two great loves. However, it calls me to be responsible and to set boundaries for myself.  It takes for me the challenge of role modelling the behaviour we want from others. For me, playing bad cop is a challenge. I have been asking myself why and the answer that I guess is that good old chestnut that is fear of rejection.   I had a belief for a long time that others were born with a bad cop gene.  Or that I wasn’t as strong as...insert name of colleague. And we are indeed all unique beings, but we can do what is asked of us.

The funny thing is, it comes down to a case of respecting yourself. In order to reach the victory line, we need to set goal posts, so to speak.  And sometimes the way to reach these goals is to ask for what you want...know it and see it before you.  I want my Drama students to know the passion of what it means to be an actor. One of my most inspiring acting teachers in Sydney brought me to tears…that sense of vulnerability. The funny thing is, once you pass through that you truly do feel like the ‘King of the world’.  I love the messiness of life. It reminds me of the haunting feeling I get when I look into a Bill Henson photo. It leaves a mark.

So as I face my next days and the days that will come after, my goal is to make my mark. To leave the world a better place for my actions. And that won’t happen from underneath a doona.

Do not disturb...knowing your boundaries

First day back at the coalface today, so to speak.  And honestly speaking, as inspiring as my words felt yesterday; walking your talk is another thing entirely.  ‘Have a little faith’ were the words that kept coming back to me. As I chatted to my barista this morning, we shared our sentiments of Mondayitis and its trappings.  Call it divine timing, my latest Paulo Coelho book is also on this very subject.  For the protagonist, her passion infiltrated into the workplace and voila...productivity on the increase.

Passion at times takes leave in my case, once paranoia sets in.  At times I revert to a little girl, wanting to hide back under my doona and feel safe.  The responsibility of a ‘career’ feels all too much and I want an easier path. As soon as I write these words I am reminded that ‘an easy life is not a victorious one’.  And the author of these words I know well, Yogananda.  My mum would often say to use to ‘use my brain’ and ‘not waste my talent’. Which I guess is why we take steps in the direction of that double edged sword that offers us both excitement and challenges. I’m so excited to teach Drama and Photography, as they are two great loves. However, it calls me to be responsible and to set boundaries for myself.  It takes for me the challenge of role modelling the behaviour we want from others. For me, playing bad cop is a challenge. I have been asking myself why and the answer that I guess is that good old chestnut that is fear of rejection.   I had a belief for a long time that others were born with a bad cop gene.  Or that I wasn’t as strong as...insert name of colleague. And we are indeed all unique beings, but we can do what is asked of us.

The funny thing is, it comes down to a case of respecting yourself. In order to reach the victory line, we need to set goal posts, so to speak.  And sometimes the way to reach these goals is to ask for what you want...know it and see it before you.  I want my Drama students to know the passion of what it means to be an actor. One of my most inspiring acting teachers in Sydney brought me to tears…that sense of vulnerability. The funny thing is, once you pass through that you truly do feel like the ‘King of the world’.  I love the messiness of life. It reminds me of the haunting feeling I get when I look into a Bill Henson photo. It leaves a mark.

So as I face my next days and the days that will come after, my goal is to make my mark. To leave the world a better place for my actions. And that won’t happen from underneath a doona.