First day back at the coalface today, so to speak. And honestly speaking, as inspiring as my
words felt yesterday; walking your talk is another thing entirely. ‘Have a little faith’ were the words that kept
coming back to me. As I chatted to my barista this morning, we shared our
sentiments of Mondayitis and its trappings. Call it divine timing, my latest Paulo Coelho
book is also on this very subject. For
the protagonist, her passion infiltrated into the workplace and voila...productivity
on the increase.
Passion at times takes leave in my case, once paranoia sets
in. At times I revert to a little girl,
wanting to hide back under my doona and feel safe. The responsibility of a ‘career’ feels all
too much and I want an easier path. As soon as I write these words I am
reminded that ‘an easy life is not a victorious one’. And the author of these words I know well,
Yogananda. My mum would often say to use
to ‘use my brain’ and ‘not waste my talent’. Which I guess is why we take steps
in the direction of that double edged sword that offers us both excitement and
challenges. I’m so excited to teach Drama and Photography, as they are two
great loves. However, it calls me to be responsible and to set boundaries for
myself. It takes for me the challenge of
role modelling the behaviour we want from others. For me, playing bad cop is a
challenge. I have been asking myself why and the answer that I guess is that
good old chestnut that is fear of rejection. I had a
belief for a long time that others were born with a bad cop gene. Or that I wasn’t as strong as...insert name
of colleague. And we are indeed all unique beings, but we can do what is asked
of us.
The funny thing is, it comes down to a case of respecting
yourself. In order to reach the victory line, we need to set goal posts, so to
speak. And sometimes the way to reach
these goals is to ask for what you want...know it and see it before you. I want my Drama students to know the passion of
what it means to be an actor. One of my most inspiring acting teachers in
Sydney brought me to tears…that sense of vulnerability. The funny thing is,
once you pass through that you truly do feel like the ‘King of the world’. I love the messiness of life. It reminds me of
the haunting feeling I get when I look into a Bill Henson photo. It leaves a
mark.
So as I face my next days and the days that will come after,
my goal is to make my mark. To leave the world a better place for my actions.
And that won’t happen from underneath a doona.
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