I have decided to trade my reading of 'The Book Thief' with Austen's 'Emma'..We can choose what we read and really, if it's a toss up between Nazi Germany and romance..there really is only one way to go. Somebody that I used to know has been leading me to bouts of tears lately at random places and often with random people. The funny thing is, I know the relationship wasn't good for me..verged on co dependency, with a splash of good old psychotic outbursts thrown in for good measure. And yet, the displays of affection that I ponder upon pre teary outburst has me second guessing myself.
Yesterday I watched a dvd on bhakti asana, which was set in Telluride in Colorado. Amongst the jaw dropping scenery was some reminders about the yogic path. What are we here to learn? She talked about surrender and going within. I believe I am here to learn many things..maybe one of them is unconditional love. In loving myself enough, I followed my instinct. Rather than living a lie, I chose to step into the unknown. And funnily enough, true displays of affection start to reveal themselves..a hug from a best friend, a new friend to see a movie with, a hearty meal and a chick flick.
As Madonna famously sings 'satin sheets are very romantic, what happens when you're not in bed?' When the glitter had worn off the valentine's gifts, there was a bird that remained caged. I love this somebody that I used to know and at times these memories make me cry..but I love myself more. Unconditionally, with high expectations.
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