Letting go of the warm furry socks of winter can be a daunting thing. Spring time invites us to clean out the cupboard of the dust and debris that has built up over the past few months. And for me that means revisiting and re - evaluating my passions and pastimes.
Having now officially graduated from Yoga Teacher training, a new phase in my personal and professional life is welcomed. But not without a fair dose of procrastination...
I was reminded this morning by an old favourite of mine, Eckhart Tolle, that denial of the present only serves to make life harder for us. And in terms of my writing which I love, I was in denial. I felt I not only didn't need to practice, but that I didn't want to expose myself. As I've mentioned before, Nikki Gemmel is one of my inspirations. Her writing, as good writing will do, unsettles me and leads me to question where I am.
So as I am writing this, I am setting myself a new intention for my writing from here on in..to invite rather than deny, vulnerablity and spontaneity. Life is so easy to get scared by, like the boogie man we once feared as a little kid. But I have set many dreams for myself that I don't intend on just letting slip through my fingers.
A good friend of mine reminded me that staying at home last night was the best thing for me as I continued to sniffle through our afternoon conversation. I didn't want to admit to being uneasy with letting myself be. A busy me wouldn't have to reflect on my week, taking stock of what has been. And Mother Nature has now stopped me in my tracks. If it wasn't for her, it may have taken me a while to dust off my laptop. Time on my own gives me time to dream my dreams.
And then the doubts creep in..can I do it? Will I succeed? Am I good enough. Well love, you gotta try.
I'm off to Vegas for New Year this year, which is one of my big dreams as I'll be seeing the Grand Canyon and The Joshua Tree while over there, before landing in San Fran for a week. The obstacle for me in this dream...budgeting. My achilles heel over the course of this year in particular, has been number crunching. There are times when I feel like Carrie Bradshaw, the woman who lived in her shoes rather than having a place to call her own. Until Big came along and set her up..and so it goes in Hollywood. I took a u turn from this lifestyle to embark on this path of training and I haven't regretted it. But it has made me look in the mirror on a regular basis. My safety net has simply been my faith..and that takes a great deal of trust. I am so grateful for the opportunities I have been afforded as it has reminded me that really there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we need the challenges to make this even more blissful.
So this has been the first fortnight of not using my credit card as if it were real money. Gossip Girl can wait for another week..
Good things take time and patience. And saying no, well that is going to make that sunrise over the canyon possible. And maybe allow me to buy a new pair of shoes while over there. x
No comments:
Post a Comment