Cafes, charisma and catastrophes

In a true sense of going from the sublime to the ridiculous, coming home is indeed a bittersweet experience. Our true sense of home lives within ourselves and by staying true to this, it doesn't matter in a geographical sense, how far away we venture from this. And it isn't always sunshine and lollypops, so to speak. My nan was in many ways a second mother to me. As my parents would bicker over the cost of bread, her kindness would soften the blow of the thunderstorms that took place after dark. As a little girl, even as a big girl, she means the world to me. When she left, leaving me with my first experience of grief, she left many a wonderful mark for the path I would take through life. She reminded me to be strong in the face of adversity and to be true, to come back home.
Her sense of devotion to those around her never left her, though I'm sure at times that her sense of joy did. It is true that ignorance is bliss, as it cut me to hear that she was a victim of the slings and arrows that would come from her husband. I sit right now in a cafe about to take a dance class, knowing that the only slings and arrows that await me are the ones I will throw at myself.
And a while ago, I would have done just that - criticised my lack of this or my inability for that. Really..it's a class, lighten up :) Note to self! And truth be told, life is too short for that garbage, hey nan! She never lost her charisma even in the catastrophic situation that she was in the midst of.
And what's more, I've got the choice to believe in amazing, unconditional and true love. Which I do. It's what I think of when I dance ad what I dream about when I write. True love does exist, free of slings and arrows. That's what I have been reminded of, to be open to the beauty around you. The smile from the bricklayer next door, the purr of a cat on your lap, the hug that is inherent in a home cooked meal.
A second cousin of mine was commenting recently on the discipline inherent in yoga. And at times I do wonder if I'm bucking the system so to speak..drinking wine, eating the odd steak. But at the basis of yoga to me is simply union. It's about integrating the darkness that will shadow all of our lives at some point, so that we can embrace with both hands the joy that awaits.
And that's something worth dancing for..