As I ran in my sleep deprived state this morning, I was
blissed out by one of the phrases from a song called ‘Birds’. To paraphrase,
she talks about the ability to look into the eyes of another and smile…deeply,
truly and openly. I think the word ‘openly’ is what encapsulates it. I taught my students yesterday about the heart
meridian that is looked at in summer. Giving them a heart opening stretch, I
left in a state of bliss. Not that this in itself was anything unusual. When
you set yourself free, you set others free also. And bliss comes from
celebrating and trusting in what lies deeply in your heart.
The heart doesn’t contain judgement, fear or
expectation. I’d never been a believer
in reincarnation prior to starting yoga training. Whereas now I feel like I see loved ones who
I have lost in many different beings. At the risk of sounding a bit hippy and
out there…. Take my run this morning. Sweaty and euphoric, I was mesmerised by
the birds flying along my path. They remind me of every soul that has ever
spoken words of freedom to me. The souls that bless my life by loving me. To let another in is to take a risk somewhat.
And risky business is the stuff dreams are made of. Risk
nothing and then there is nothing to gain. We gain so much by giving and being
open. Looking back on my short life so far, of course there are those memories
of heart break. But they do also serve to make us who we are. As I thought about tapasya this week, I asked
what it was that I needed to do. Before going further, tapasya to me means to
sift, surrender and be strong. And
strangely enough my tapasya was being kinder to myself. Rather than waking up
and forcing myself into a fierce practice, it meant treating myself to a sesame
oil massage and cup of tea. Tenderness is at times the most confronting thing
to cross our path because it offers us a chance to simply allow.
Tapasya will test us. But we are our own best warrior. It
just takes some sifting and persistence.
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