The weight of the matter… Good things come in all shapes and sizes

Once spring springs, we get a call to remove our winter coat.  Last week, Monday to be exact, my zipper on last year’s summer frock failed to co-operate. And suddenly, my self esteem was shortly thereafter torn to shreds. My solution in this moment was to pass on said dress to my flatmate, in a rather deflated manner and don my pink salsa shoes for class. At least these still fit, I thought to myself, feeling somewhat like the protagonist from ‘In Her Shoes’. For those of you who haven’t seen this, the character played by Toni Colette builds up a wardrobe of beautiful shoes.  She looks at her body in disgrace, taking solace in the fact that shoes size is always a constant.

And the pink shoes did lift my mood.  Again, in a case of timing being everything, we were looking at the yama of truth in yoga class. Truly, dance class has and always will, make me feel good.  Madly, my reaction to un co-operative zipper.  Deeply, I needed to take an honest look at myself.

Yes, winter was the season of my discontent in terms of needing to rug up at all times. Me and winter have a somewhat love hate relationship. Hibernation became my modus operandi, I don’t need to bore you with the cuisine that would have accompanied this but if you visualise carb laden goodness you are on the right track.

So now the sun is well and truly shining. I have a job I love, holiday I’m stoked about and a great bunch of mates. But relationship with myself? Well that winter coat when I looked at it represented the things I didn’t want to look at. My asana practice had taken a back seat so that I could do more restorative. But I really learnt that a strong practice is indeed a mirror for a strong life.

Exposing ourselves to the world is a vulnerability inducing act, which I guess is one of the primary reasons I write this blog. To learn fearlessness by being vulnerable.  And to follow and create your own path, along with your self.  

My path thus far has provided me with training wheels at many points along the way.  These have come in the form of routines in varied degrees. Stepping out of my routine at the moment comes in the form of an aeroplane ticket, from which I will return to no fixed address.

I want life to allow life to be a question mark – an opportunity rather than an expectation. Because let’s face it, a book is all the more exciting when we leave the last chapter till the end. And as for the zipper, well let’s just say that it comes down to letting go of what causes us to gain weight and facing things for what they really are.  For me that means acceptance and embracing all that I have in life and not putting on rose coloured glasses when I view my past.   The strongest thing we can do sometimes is walk away and turn our backs on whatever doesn’t work, with the lessons tucked firmly in our back pocket.