One of my favourite writer's Nicki Gemmel refers to writing as the natural inclination for the super sensitive beings of the world. That box is well and truly ticked for me. But I love it. I love that thinking about my grandma on this International Women's Day brings a tear to my eye. And its not something I hide from..let it go. The leaves do..they are fully aware that its autumn, nature is metaphorically encouraging us to let go. A beautiful theatre teacher (thanks Jamie..looking forward to seeing you on the big screen soon) reminded us to not wipe these tears away. They are human, they are real.
Tapasya and swadyaya were the niyamas set for study this week just gone. The first being about stepping out of your comfort zone, so that you continue to move forward in life. One of my most primal fears is death by drowning. However, the ocean is so amazing to me that I'm determined to have it as my playground for a really long time. So being in the country at the moment, I booked an ocean holiday to tie in with my sister's wedding. Tapasya goes hand in hand with self study or swadyaya, as going within brings us answers to our questions. My self study, often in the form of journalling, has allowed me to be reminded of the things that are important to me.
Write, live and love..do whatever it is that makes you zing. Get out of your own way by letting your dreams create your days.
Saturday, 21 April 2012
pretty pennies
'She says that she likes the way that the sun comes in through the kitchen window just before dusk...' You know at times how you feel as if a song has been written just for you..I feel a bit this way about one of my favourite Penny Flanagan songs 'The Calling'. Music has an uncanny quality of being the soundtrack for our lives - this is not an original concept by the way, I think I've coined it from a movie. As I was making my lasagna today, I felt overwhelmed by both sadness and joy in equal measure. It was this song that I felt drawn to. Tears flowing, bechamel sauce brewing; my recovery was in progress.
The penny dropped as I reminded myself that the universe is indeed unfolding as it should be. Upon listening to the birds outside my kitchen window, I was reminded of how simple and special life is.
My yoga mentor gave me a poem that I keep on my bedroom wall. In a nutshell, it is about honouring our true path and embracing the obstacles that befall us. Those of you that have been following this blog will know that writing is one of my passions that I am pursuing. In the arena of creative pursuits, there is emotional fallout. Rejection does hurt and it takes something to get back on the proverbial horse. But I write, dance and sing because it heals me. It makes life makes sense and clears the cobwebs. And I figure that if I don't try, I won't learn or live.
One of my dear friends always tells me how brave she thinks I am. It's nice to be reminded of these things when you feel far from it. I guess the brunt of it is that a warrior is raised through challenges. According to Lululemon founder, failure in life is an assured by product of high goal setting. So here's to keeping it real, smiling in the face of adversity and singing to your favourite tunes.
The penny dropped as I reminded myself that the universe is indeed unfolding as it should be. Upon listening to the birds outside my kitchen window, I was reminded of how simple and special life is.
My yoga mentor gave me a poem that I keep on my bedroom wall. In a nutshell, it is about honouring our true path and embracing the obstacles that befall us. Those of you that have been following this blog will know that writing is one of my passions that I am pursuing. In the arena of creative pursuits, there is emotional fallout. Rejection does hurt and it takes something to get back on the proverbial horse. But I write, dance and sing because it heals me. It makes life makes sense and clears the cobwebs. And I figure that if I don't try, I won't learn or live.
One of my dear friends always tells me how brave she thinks I am. It's nice to be reminded of these things when you feel far from it. I guess the brunt of it is that a warrior is raised through challenges. According to Lululemon founder, failure in life is an assured by product of high goal setting. So here's to keeping it real, smiling in the face of adversity and singing to your favourite tunes.
Monday, 16 April 2012
Raise your glass..
Top song by the goddess of pop herself, Miss Katy Perry. Just got back from my new favourite suburb, Albert Park, where my fellow yogis were doing just that. I've got till August till I can do the same. It was good to see that my friends could live yogic lifestyles and not be too regimented in their approach to life. Especially since we had all done a weekend of intense yoga. There comes a time and indeed a place where a glass of moscato does not go astray.
Going into this weekend, I had the choice to either go to a gig on the Thursday night or to see a beautiful teacher, Amma, who was visiting Melbourne. I chose the gig, in support of my friends and also to remind myself that life is about balance. Your guitar playing mates can teach you as much about life as many a spiritual teacher can, as they are the ones who 'keep it real'. At the risk of sounding like I'm blabbing, I've come to the conclusion that life is more about colours than it is black and white. I can be a fit and healthy yogi who goes to the pub, runs and reads Vogue magazine religiously.
Flexibility is a trait that is exhibited best when applied internally and externally. What I learnt most from this weekend is taking my practice off the mat. Being kind to myself in poses and listening to my body also translates to allowing myself to go to the comedy festival, get lost in a different city and try new things. Ps on the last one, steak frites is amazing. One of the classes I took ended with the teacher's heartfelt thanks for his students being his 'teachers'. Beautiful, honest and humble. We are our own teachers.
So on that note, I'll leave you with a pertinent thought from the weekend. We can choose to live our lives from a place of either inspiration or a rehashing of past experiences. I spent a large part of this weekend clearing up some of my past debris, so that I could let go of old patterns. What I found was that new opportunities come along when you have faith in yourself and know what your heart desires. I know I don't want to adhere to a particular model that someone or something else has dictated to me. I fell in love with Melbourne as my soul loves change and variety. I'm realising that the picket fence is not really my thing and that's perfectly ok. We do indeed only have this moment now and what inspires me is knowing that I have the power and the passion to choose my life path. Your heart will indeed point you in the right direction. Sweet dreams.
Going into this weekend, I had the choice to either go to a gig on the Thursday night or to see a beautiful teacher, Amma, who was visiting Melbourne. I chose the gig, in support of my friends and also to remind myself that life is about balance. Your guitar playing mates can teach you as much about life as many a spiritual teacher can, as they are the ones who 'keep it real'. At the risk of sounding like I'm blabbing, I've come to the conclusion that life is more about colours than it is black and white. I can be a fit and healthy yogi who goes to the pub, runs and reads Vogue magazine religiously.
Flexibility is a trait that is exhibited best when applied internally and externally. What I learnt most from this weekend is taking my practice off the mat. Being kind to myself in poses and listening to my body also translates to allowing myself to go to the comedy festival, get lost in a different city and try new things. Ps on the last one, steak frites is amazing. One of the classes I took ended with the teacher's heartfelt thanks for his students being his 'teachers'. Beautiful, honest and humble. We are our own teachers.
So on that note, I'll leave you with a pertinent thought from the weekend. We can choose to live our lives from a place of either inspiration or a rehashing of past experiences. I spent a large part of this weekend clearing up some of my past debris, so that I could let go of old patterns. What I found was that new opportunities come along when you have faith in yourself and know what your heart desires. I know I don't want to adhere to a particular model that someone or something else has dictated to me. I fell in love with Melbourne as my soul loves change and variety. I'm realising that the picket fence is not really my thing and that's perfectly ok. We do indeed only have this moment now and what inspires me is knowing that I have the power and the passion to choose my life path. Your heart will indeed point you in the right direction. Sweet dreams.
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
somebody that i used to know
I have decided to trade my reading of 'The Book Thief' with Austen's 'Emma'..We can choose what we read and really, if it's a toss up between Nazi Germany and romance..there really is only one way to go. Somebody that I used to know has been leading me to bouts of tears lately at random places and often with random people. The funny thing is, I know the relationship wasn't good for me..verged on co dependency, with a splash of good old psychotic outbursts thrown in for good measure. And yet, the displays of affection that I ponder upon pre teary outburst has me second guessing myself.
Yesterday I watched a dvd on bhakti asana, which was set in Telluride in Colorado. Amongst the jaw dropping scenery was some reminders about the yogic path. What are we here to learn? She talked about surrender and going within. I believe I am here to learn many things..maybe one of them is unconditional love. In loving myself enough, I followed my instinct. Rather than living a lie, I chose to step into the unknown. And funnily enough, true displays of affection start to reveal themselves..a hug from a best friend, a new friend to see a movie with, a hearty meal and a chick flick.
As Madonna famously sings 'satin sheets are very romantic, what happens when you're not in bed?' When the glitter had worn off the valentine's gifts, there was a bird that remained caged. I love this somebody that I used to know and at times these memories make me cry..but I love myself more. Unconditionally, with high expectations.
Yesterday I watched a dvd on bhakti asana, which was set in Telluride in Colorado. Amongst the jaw dropping scenery was some reminders about the yogic path. What are we here to learn? She talked about surrender and going within. I believe I am here to learn many things..maybe one of them is unconditional love. In loving myself enough, I followed my instinct. Rather than living a lie, I chose to step into the unknown. And funnily enough, true displays of affection start to reveal themselves..a hug from a best friend, a new friend to see a movie with, a hearty meal and a chick flick.
As Madonna famously sings 'satin sheets are very romantic, what happens when you're not in bed?' When the glitter had worn off the valentine's gifts, there was a bird that remained caged. I love this somebody that I used to know and at times these memories make me cry..but I love myself more. Unconditionally, with high expectations.
Monday, 26 March 2012
artistic license
'Melancholia', the new Lars Von Trier film, literally looks at death in the face. We know from the outset of this movie that the planet of Melancholia is indeed on a crash course with earth. And the whole idea of death is a pretty heavy one. But Von Trier goes there, an act for which I take my hat off to him. Margaret gave the movie a full rating of 5, whereas David gave the film only half of Margaret's quota. It is visually beautiful, which allows the challenging themes to be, I find, more easy to digest.
Fear of death, or attachment to life, is one of the kleshas in yogic philosophy. By this, it is one of the five aspects of life that hold us back from permanent bliss. One of my favourite parts of a yoga class is the savasana. It is called 'corpse' pose for a reason. We need to surrender, not fight against the inevitability of what's essentially a well earned rest. As melancholia came hurtling towards the protagonists, the child had a peaceful half smile on his face. The innocence of children is really a mirror for our own essential innocence. Reminding us to be light, to live, right now.
Von Trier made public the fact that he suffered an extended bout of depression prior to making this movie. Some would say that, upon viewing the movie, this makes sense. But I like to think that this process of film making helped him to find his way out. He told some of his story and this is the fabric of life. Our stories connect us. Death and depression are two parts of life. Shying away from either won't make them go away. But making a movie about them, however, makes people aware.
It also reminds us to connect. I was lucky to have Thai food to share with friends after. Dunst's character in the film was lucky to have the kindness of a young child. This child inspired her to make a magic cave, one that would protect them from a plummeting planet. The planet did indeed take their physcial selves, but is it the magic cave that has held onto their souls.
Fear of death, or attachment to life, is one of the kleshas in yogic philosophy. By this, it is one of the five aspects of life that hold us back from permanent bliss. One of my favourite parts of a yoga class is the savasana. It is called 'corpse' pose for a reason. We need to surrender, not fight against the inevitability of what's essentially a well earned rest. As melancholia came hurtling towards the protagonists, the child had a peaceful half smile on his face. The innocence of children is really a mirror for our own essential innocence. Reminding us to be light, to live, right now.
Von Trier made public the fact that he suffered an extended bout of depression prior to making this movie. Some would say that, upon viewing the movie, this makes sense. But I like to think that this process of film making helped him to find his way out. He told some of his story and this is the fabric of life. Our stories connect us. Death and depression are two parts of life. Shying away from either won't make them go away. But making a movie about them, however, makes people aware.
It also reminds us to connect. I was lucky to have Thai food to share with friends after. Dunst's character in the film was lucky to have the kindness of a young child. This child inspired her to make a magic cave, one that would protect them from a plummeting planet. The planet did indeed take their physcial selves, but is it the magic cave that has held onto their souls.
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Mountains by moonlight
Upon moving to the country, I can't say that I've eaten a lot of peaches, but I have been seeing my fair share of mountains. So after a day of yoga, I took myself up Huon Hill to photograph the sunset. It renders me pretty speechless. I had to switch off Fiona Apple and just listen to the sunset sounds around me. And with that comes my yoga segue. Silence indeed is golden. There was no one up there this evening. I was sorrounded by cows, abandoned sheds and a faint whisper of birdsong.
It gives me a bit of clarity and reminds me to take a step back. I gave up my lap swimming so I could just have a lazy night..watch the sunset, have a bath and write. All too often life gets in the way of our creative endeavours. And if we don't take time for them, they do easily slip away. I'm like Little Red Riding Hood wandering trepidatiously through the woods of writing. But like anything, you have to start somewhere.
So in terms of taking a step back, there is a beautiful rule book for success in life. Consistent and dedicated practice, along with a sense of detachment. I, as well as many others, will face many 'big bad wolves' on the path through life. But make like Red Riding Hood and let that wolf go..nothing is as scary in reality as it is in our mind. And no efforts, even those that lead to 'failures' are ever wasted.
It gives me a bit of clarity and reminds me to take a step back. I gave up my lap swimming so I could just have a lazy night..watch the sunset, have a bath and write. All too often life gets in the way of our creative endeavours. And if we don't take time for them, they do easily slip away. I'm like Little Red Riding Hood wandering trepidatiously through the woods of writing. But like anything, you have to start somewhere.
So in terms of taking a step back, there is a beautiful rule book for success in life. Consistent and dedicated practice, along with a sense of detachment. I, as well as many others, will face many 'big bad wolves' on the path through life. But make like Red Riding Hood and let that wolf go..nothing is as scary in reality as it is in our mind. And no efforts, even those that lead to 'failures' are ever wasted.
Friday, 16 March 2012
Goodbye Griff
Tomorrow marks the anniversary of a good friend's death. Thanks to Cameron Crowe's cathartic 'Elizabethtown' for reminding me of the cleansing qualities of crying. I will always miss him, as friends that are dear to us never leave our heart space; despite their physical departure. Both my friends and this film, however, remind me of the importance of really hugging our dreams rather than simply existing. I loved that both of these people took risks. As I am only beginning my writing career, there will be failures and rejections. That's without even really considering all the behind the scenes stuff.
One of the ideas from the film that really stood out to me was that of sticking around to withstand the fallout from failures. I remember, fondly now, Griff teasing me about my many job opportunities that I'd be talking to him about. Friends can tell it like it is, as he had a sense of deep respect and love at his core. He came to visit me when I was teaching at a school far from home, sharing a laugh about my stories. I felt so supported and understood, even when he wasn't physically present.
As the sun started to peak out from the rain this evening, I felt his light shining down on me, reminding me to do the things that scare me and to laugh at myself in the process.
One of the ideas from the film that really stood out to me was that of sticking around to withstand the fallout from failures. I remember, fondly now, Griff teasing me about my many job opportunities that I'd be talking to him about. Friends can tell it like it is, as he had a sense of deep respect and love at his core. He came to visit me when I was teaching at a school far from home, sharing a laugh about my stories. I felt so supported and understood, even when he wasn't physically present.
As the sun started to peak out from the rain this evening, I felt his light shining down on me, reminding me to do the things that scare me and to laugh at myself in the process.
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